Yesterday I drove by Ahmadu Bello Way and looked to the right. The beach was no longer there!
Wait, who removes a beach?
The Bar Beach, aka Victoria Beach, was always the highpoint of Ahmadu Bello Way. You knew it was always there. But now it’s not.
In its place is a new development called Eko Atlantic. The new city stretches on for as long as the eye can see and in the middle of it, a skyscraper is already rising.
Think for a minute. There is no skyscraper on Lagos mainland but right now, there’s one on a parcel of land that was just reclaimed from the Bar Beach.
You’ve got to be gangsta to think in your mind that you can displace a whole beach. What! That’s some insane level big thinking. It’s not the same as the think-positive, believe-it-and-you-can-make-it mumbo jumbo peddled by the largely morally deficient motivational speaking industry. This kind of imagination and chutzpah is mind meltingly bonkers.
Say, how does a conversation like that go?
‘Hey, Governor of Lagos, we have a plan to build a new city in Victoria Island.’
‘What? VI? But there’s no land for a new city.’
‘Don’t worry. We’ll just push back the beach.’
‘Push back what beach?’
‘The Bar Beach, Gov.’
If you’re coming to Ahmadu Bello Way after a long time, you’ll think you’re lost.
You’ll say to your Uber driver, ‘Wait. I think your compass is broken. You’re supposed to take me to Ahmadu Bello Way.’
‘This is Ahmadu Bello Way, Sir.’
‘No,’ you’ll say in your self righteous, I-know-Lagos-more-than-you voice. ‘There’s supposed to be a beach here.’
‘Oh, they moved the beach back.’
[Fuuuunke! Apostle will hear of this!]
Yeah, they moved the beach and, going forward, only the rich who can afford to live at Eko Atlantic will have access to the beach.
Those people, many of them will be returnees and rich kids with Twitter cred who like to make everything into an acronym.
For their privileged parents, Eko Atlantic will be the new rich person calling card and they’ll scamper to buy a house there.
When you ask the kids where they live on the Island, they’ll be like, ‘ATL.’
‘Wait, what? ‘ATL? In Lagos?’
‘Oh yeah. Eko Atlantic. ATL.’
Yes. That’s why they relocated the Bar Beach.
cover image credit: Eko Atlantic